Are You Facing Relational Drift?

I find myself at a place where I am working with several individuals and couples in their relationship.  Many are finally coming to realize that there are more issues going on than they were aware of.

I can relate to all of this so well.  There have been times in my marriage that I have out the ministry first, me first, others first and just completely ignored and sometimes even forgot about the needs of my wife.  It's never been fun nor easy to face the truth about my own selfishness and the way that I can so easily give to others and let my relationship drift.

Some signs that your relationship may be drifting:

1. You are now spending more time with your career, school, children or others than you used to?

2. You can't remember the last time you took your spouse out on a date?

3. You only talk about the things that you have to talk about: the kids, your schedule, who's doing what when.  You aren't about each other and what you need from each other.
 

Maybe some of this describes you.  If so, what can you and what will you do to stop the relational drift before it goes any further?

 I've learned that I need to put MORE energy and focus on my marriage than on my kids, my ministry or on others.  I've learned that I have to TAKE TIME to be with Kim and make certain nothing gets in the way.  We do "Date Nights" once a week and I love it.

 Let me know what helps you and what you've learned along the way.  I'd love to hear from you. 

Seized by the Vision

Last week I attended the annual Leadership Summit with 20 other amazing leaders from our church. It felt much like trying to drink from a fire hydrant with so many great speakers and so much to think about.  It will take me several weeks to process through all of the materials.

There is one thing that was said that has captured my heart and my prayers.  Bill Hybels said...

"It’s one thing to see a vision. It’s another thing to be seized by a vision!"

 God has given me a vision to reach those who are far from Him here in Reno-one of the most unchurched areas in our nation.  Our mission is to "Build Bridges for People to Come to Jesus and Grow in His Grace."I spend a lot of time trying to think of ways that God would have us reach out to this city and our community to touch the lives of those who do not yet know him. I can see it and so want it to happen. 

But I have to admit that being "seized by that vision" is a new thought for me.  I am praying that God would truly seize my heart with His vision for me and for us.  I am praying that I and this Body of people to be willing to do whatever it takes to see that vision become a reality regardless of the cost. So, when you think about me today, pray that I will be "seized by His vision".  I'll do the same for you.  

Celebrate Dads!

I've been doing a lot of thinking about Fathers this week.  My Dad passed away over 5 years ago but I've done some reflecting on my relationship to him this week.  As I grew up, there were a lot of things that seemed to push us apart-but it was mainly his anger that I remembered the most as a child and then a teen-ager.  There were a lot of times that this became the focus of my relationship with him and I could not, or did not, see the good things that he did.

Reflecting back, I can remember the times that people in the neighborhood came to him for help and he helped.  I remember that he worked hard to provide the things that we needed and I remember that he always did his best to be honest and trustworthy.  I remember that he made certain I was able to go to the college that I wanted to attend and he paid for it.  I still have no idea how he did it.  I did make certain the he knew how much I loved him and appreciated all that he did for me before he passed away.

As I reflect about my Dad, I wish that I had focused more on the positive things that he did and less on the shortcomings that he had.  This Father's Day I want to encourage you to celebrate the good and positive things about your Dad and maybe think a little less about how he could be better.

Every Dad I know realizes that he falls short, even this one, and every Dad I know wants to be better.  Take some time to celebrate Dad and let him know about the good and positive things that he does for you.  Who knows?  Maybe that's what he needs to get even better.

He Is Risen!

But the angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. He is not here, for he has risen, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples that he has risen from the dead, and behold, he is going before you to Galilee; there you will see him. See, I have told you.”” (Matthew 28:5–7)

He is alive-Hope is alive-My sins are forgiven-I can forgive others-New Life is possible-I don't have to stay the way that I am. 

Easter changes everything-may we all be changed for His Glory.

Help When You Need It!

Almost every week I hear someone say something like, "I just couldn't help myself" or "I just can't stop what I'm doing" or "No one understands what I'm going through".  We all face some big battles in our lives.  We all have some temptations that we deal with that are harder for us to handle than others. Yet, somehow we often think  we are alone in our private battles.

It could be anger, lust, greed,envy, discouragement, bitterness, unforgiveness or any number of things. You and I will face something sometime today that will either win over us or we will win  it.  But just remember there is help when you it:

For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.” (Hebrews 2:17–18) 

Jesus was fully human like us so that he could identify with us-he we was even tempted like us but never gave in to that temptation so so he is able to help both you and me when we tempted today.