Love Intentionally

I'm doing a teaching series called "Fanning the Flame"-we're addressing the question of How do you Stay in Love and Keep Growing in You Love for each other. Can you do that, is it possible to stay in love with the same person for the rest of your life and not just settle and live together or separate to find someone else?

The answer to that question lies in your understanding of love. Most of us think love is something that happens to us-we fall in love. God, however, has given us a living example of love and it is not something that happens to us but something the we chose to do.

The only way to "stay in Love and Grow in Love" is to LOVE INTENTIONALLY... to chose to love in spite of what the emotions are... to choose to serve the other and put their wants, needs and desires ahead of ours.

The Apostle Paul puts it this way:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3–4)

"...in humility consider others better than yourselves." Please notice that he does not say they are better than you-only that we are to consider them better. This is the choice we get to make every day.

So, what will you do today to consider those closest to you better than you?

Is It possible???

Yesterday I began a new series (Fanning the Flame)on relationships-specifically marriage. In a world where most marriages and relationship fall apart, people today want to know is it possible for two people to stay together forever and be happy while doing it.Most people have never seen it happen. Most people have watched as one or both spouses have walked away from each other.

Yet, in spite of all of this, I believe that most people think that it IS possible for two people to stay together and grow in love together and even be happy in the process. They just aren't sure that it can happen to them.

Jesus said:

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?” (Matthew 19:4–5)

I believe God has placed that desire and longing within us. And, I believe that it is possible for two people to stay together forever and be happy. Tell me what you think...

Later this week, we'll discuss the key to staying in love-because there really is one.

AreYou A Good Listener?

Someone has said: "Most people only listen while waiting for their turn to speak." That may sound harsh but it certainly has proven to be true a lot of times in my life. It seems that most of us want to be heard more than we want to others. Most if us want to be understood more than we want to understand. We love to talk and hate to listen.

Yet one of the greatest needs of leaders, parents, pastors and others is the need to listen-the need to hear and understand what others are saying. The book of Proverbs is filled with instructions about listening. This week we will focus on what it has to say... Here are a few verses.

If you stop learning, you will forget what you already know. ” (Proverbs 19:27 CEV)

My child, if you listen and obey my teachings, you will live a long time. ” (Proverbs 4:10 CEV)

If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding. ” (Proverbs 15:31–32)

Here is one thing to do to become a better listener: (we'll talk about more later this week).

Be quiet while someone else is speaking: This is easier said than done.

Get rid of all your distractions-turn off your cell phone, your the tv, ipod or whatever else can get in the way.

Focus all of your attention on the one who is speaking.

Try this: Wait one full second before you even think about responding.

You will be surprised at what you will hear and even at what you will say.

Are you a good listener? What are some things you've learned that help you? let me hear from you..

Your Name Matters...

I know that there are times when it does not matter what people think about us. Times when we choose to go against the popular thing to do the right thing. But Proverbs tells us that a good name or our good reputation matters more than great riches.

We will be known by the way that we live each day, the way that we treat others. People will take notice of the things that we do. The question is this: Will they see us as people who consistently live out what they say they believe? Or, will they see us as just another hypocrite who says one thing and does another?

Your name and my name matters. What do people who live with you, who work with you, who know you think about when they hear your name or mine?

A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold. ” (Proverbs 22:1)

OVERLOOK IT???

It happened to me yesterday. I went to a place of business to find out what it would cost to get something fixed. I asked about the cost and how long it would take to get addressed. The man responded with an attitude that caught me by surprise and then walked away from me as if I did not exist. All of a sudden I was faced with what I would do... Can you relate?

All of us make decisions every day about what we will do with the things that have been done to us. Sometimes those things happened a long time ago-sometimes it will happen today. What will you do? What should you do?

There are times when the appropriate thing to do is to address it and do it well. Sometimes the best thing to do is to walk away and over look it.

A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense. ” (Proverbs 19:11)

I have to admit that I failed to handle the situation yesterday well. I spoke out of frustration and anger. I did not say a lot but what I said was not said very well. Quite honestly, it was one of those times when I just should overlooked it and let it go. So, today I'm going to seek to be better prepared to do what needs to be done.

What about you? Got anything that you need to overlook and let go?