Monday, September 28, 2009

"What Women Wish Men Knew About Women" Part One

It doesn't take a degree in psychology to see that men and women are very different in hoe they view life and they ways in which they interact. It is the wise man who seeks to develop a greater understanding of that difference when it comes to his wife and the other women in his life. Over the next few days, I will address a few areas from the message that I did on Sunday that I believe will help men better understand and relate to women.

Women Need Thoughtful Affection:

Women want to have a sense of closeness and connection with their husbands. They want to know that they are number one in their life and that they are on their minds. Gary Smalley in his book "Love is A Decision" says there are at least five ways to communicate affection to your wives:

1. Words of Affirmation: Never underestimate the amazing power of positive and affirming words in your relationship.

2. Quality Time: Means exactly what it says that you set aside time in your calendar and schedule to spend quality time with her. I believe that you need to find a way to do this for a few minutes each day if at all possible and then you find a way once a week to have extended time together.

3. Gifts - flowers, cards,candy etc. These gifts don’t have to be large ones-in fact sometimes the small ones matter the most. Gifts are just one way of telling her how much you love and appreciate her.

4. Physical displays (touch). Hugs, holding hands, etc. And, I would add non sexual physical touch.

5. Acts of Service - helping around the house, washing the dishes, cooking dinner, taking out the trash, etc.

Take some time this week to discuss this area with the women in your life and find out what they have to say about this area of their life. Tell me what you think. I'd like to hear from you.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


One of the biggest challenges we all face in our relationships is the issue of communication. The average person speaks enough words in one year to fill 66 books, 800 pages long. Most men speak about 15,000- 20,000 words a day. The average woman 30,000 words a day. We are a nation of talkers who say a lot but not a lot of communication takes place.

You and I possess a great power that we seldom think about:

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Prov. 18:21).

Think about this: When it comes to COMMUNICATION:

7% is what you say

38% is how you say it

55% is your Body Language

My biggest challenge in communication is LISTENING... I must listen more than I speak, I must listen before I speak and I must seek to understand before I am understood.

So, how are you doing when it comes to communication? What will you focus on as you interact with your family, friends and others today? I would love to hear from you on this...

Monday, September 7, 2009

Designed to Connect

We began our RE-L8 series yesterday on relationships. The first message addressed "Why Relationships Matter."

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (Gen. 1:26-27)

Relationships matter because of our design. God is a relational God who created us to be relational people. I am learning more and more the value of relationships and the need to make them a priority in my life. Relationships don't just happen, they occur when we make them a priority in our lives.

For the next few days, I am going to talk about the ways that we are designed for relationships. First of all, we are designed to connect. We are created to connect in relationships with God and each other. When we have no connection we experience loneliness and life loses meaning.

Learning to connect with others is vital for us to have the kind of life that we are designed to have. Connecting is something that takes time and attention in our lives. In order to connect with God and those we love, we must be intentional about focusing on them and getting to know them. We spend time with them and learn about them and allow them to learn about us.

So, I ask, how are your connections? Are you growing in your relationship with God and the people around you? What will you do today that allows you to deepen those connections?